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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?